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Aug. 16th, 2007 | 12:34 pm

We cometh! B)

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You were always such a pretty girl

Aug. 5th, 2007 | 12:40 am
mood: calm calm
music: Type O Negative - Hey bacchus

It is now almost 4 years ago.. 4 years since you pulled me out of my puddle of mud, out of a strangling grasp of anger with a sincere progress of suffocating me. I have struggled ever since. But a most troubling fact remained, how you, angel of salvation, turned on me, and with a great deal of sympathy towards another wayward angel only remembered me as the guy you had rather not known. I had never endured your hatred in a direct way, and luckily, never got myself to pity the loss so much that I countered the hatred back to you.

I should say here that I can't believe I will be seeing you again. That I can't believe I even spoke to you again in the first place. And that our conversations are so merry. But I can. And I so much look forward to it. It is a deeply cherished wish come true.

Hey Bacchus...she hates me :)

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Jun. 4th, 2007 | 10:59 am

We forgot the pizza :O

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Jun. 1st, 2007 | 09:44 pm
location: home alone
mood: amused amused
music: SPleen United - peak fitness condition

Een deal is een deal ;)

Btw Top 8 ftw :D

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Do I feel lucky, punk?

May. 21st, 2007 | 03:41 am
music: The Connells - 74'75

...I just need to learn to love myself.

I just found a reason to call for utter damnation on irony.

You attractive girl, you.

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Sex, drugs, and the complications

May. 10th, 2007 | 02:31 pm
music: Placebo - this picture

Ik weet niet waarom, maar de laatste dagen glijd ik erg af naar een dal van melancholie (in de volksmond ook wel emo genoemd). Constant mezelf herinneren hoe de liefde verblindt, bindt, haar goedheid verzint, luisterend naar Novastar, Placebo, Moke, the like. De specifieke reden moge geen onduidelijkheid kennen - ik zou mezelf er niet aan hoeven herinneren, als ik er geen problemen mee had te accepteren. Waarom toch die noodzaak tot verplichte, vereiste, zelf toegeëigende affectie? Waarom voel ik dat mijn leven iets mist zonder een persoon die ik en slechts ik lief kan en mag hebben?
Als het antwoord slechts hormonen en sociale structuren omvat, lijkt het alle magie van de liefde teniet te doen die mensen met haar ervaren. Er lijkt wel een rationeel, zelfbewust element te moeten zijn, een vrije keuze..wat is liefde zonder eigen vrije wil om de ander lief te hebben? Maar hoe kan ik dan nog de vernietiging van de stoïcijnen ontwijken, die mij slaan met waarheden, hoe het gebrek aan liefde mij kwelt, hoe de spaarzame momenten die aan het verlangen tegemoet komen het samengaan van mij en ander kortstondig plezieren om mij daarna in het zwart van missen te hullen? Het verlaten van de tranen uit mijn ogen mijn eigen leegloop van geluk symboliseren?

Pijn of onverschilligheid? In al die jaren is nog altijd het lied dat mij de keuze wijst, de vlucht in anesthesie, favoriet gebleven, en nooit verdreven van haar heerschappij. I don't need anyone - I don't feel anything.

Het is nu bijna twee jaar sinds die rare hiaat in mijn geschiedenis. Het enige sprankje werkelijk, substantieel genot dat ik echt gekend heb. Het is nu bijna twee jaar dat ik alleen op de wereld ben, nooit vergaan zonder bloedvergieten in de heilige oorlog van de romantiek.

A last chance should be grasped with both hands.

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A new dawn, a new day, a new life

May. 2nd, 2007 | 09:16 am

Soms gebeuren er van die dingen waar je je daags later nog steeds niet van beseft hoe speciaal ze zijn. En ik ben nog steeds vervreemd van het uitbundige gevoel dat mij zich meester zal maken, nu ik jou weer na jaren gesproken heb..

You caused me so much sorrow, pain and grief..but without you, my life wouldn't have been anything else but :)

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Je moet toch wat doen als je je Pandora aan het tunen bent..

Apr. 10th, 2007 | 12:04 am
location: Mah lil' crib
mood: cheerful cheerful
music: Pandora | Children of Bodom - Follow the Reaper

You are The Hierophant

Divine Wisdom. Manifestation. Explanation. Teaching.

All things relating to education, patience, help from superiors.The Hierophant is often considered to be a Guardian Angel.

The Hierophant's purpose is to bring the spiritual down to Earth. Where the High Priestess between her two pillars deals with realms beyond this Earth, the Hierophant (or High Priest) deals with worldly problems. He is well suited to do this because he strives to create harmony and peace in the midst of a crisis. The Hierophant's only problem is that he can be stubborn and hidebound. At his best, he is wise and soothing, at his worst, he is an unbending traditionalist.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Met dank aan Mirk :) *knufft Mirk*

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I guess some people were born with tragedy in their blood

Apr. 1st, 2007 | 12:49 am
location: Home :)
mood: contemplative contemplative
music: Dimmu Borgir - In death's Embrace

What if you could replace all that suffering and pain with something beautiful?

..You can't practice the art of dying - it is the exercition space of natural talents.

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To you, frailty

Mar. 23rd, 2007 | 12:31 am
mood: thoughtful thoughtful

A break-up is hard to endure and thankfully, I can grow from a nuisance to a genuine comforting elemental in these kind of situations. It may have served some of you well. But being blatantly unattractive is no slouch either, however, I've also grown to live with loneliness. I wonder how you will all fare, reckoning none will hopefully end up with the dreaded romanticism I still remain trapped within till this day.

Someday someone will make sense of what I'm saying, recognizing how gems are found within dusty stones. Pearls in worn clamshells. I bite at first sight, purring sweetly with my fuzzy fangs. My mood has become light and teasy once again. I don't care about the guy with the bow and arrows anymore, hugging my friends whom his darts have injected poison to them. Eros is now captured with Thanatos, liberating Psyche from the sickly male stranglehold.

Frailty liberates me. My weakness is my strength. But you will recognize it. I will bite, but you will endure it. You are my enemy, an enemy I'll keep closer more than anyone. But until then, I'll be there for you all. Always.

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